Better: Not Perfect Soul Care Workbook
Chapter #7 Caution: This is not a drill- It’s life-So Woman Up And Live It
Lessons From My Heart To Yours
Learn that You are enough. No matter what you have or don’t have, as a human, you are enough. There are seeds of greatness in every person and that greatness manifests itself once you accept that you are enough as you are and that everything you will do, has nothing to do with who you are. You are a Human Being, even as you are a Human Doing. In your being, be enough.
Healthy boundaries are not just for other people. You have to love yourself enough to impose them on yourself too. Protect you from you and any negative self-talk that happens in our minds. Protect you from others who don’t love or value you enough to give, as much as they take when they are in your presence.
I almost lost it all trying to be it all and have it all, at the same time. Don’t do that.
A Look Inside Your Heart: A Journaling Activity
Where are you overextended? What would happen if you were to take 1 or 2 things off of your plate for six months and not add another thing in its place? Your initial response might be, I can’t do that? Everything on my plate is a must do. Really? Why? Journal or free write, picking 2 non-employment related items off your plate. What are the implications associated with not doing these things? Would it cause irreparable damage or are the stakes lower? Talk it through with a friend or family member. Sometimes things we see as irreparable, trusted loved ones can show us how we can downsize our schedules in helpful ways with limited damage. If fear of disappointing someone is holding you back, or the conversation that will occur, write an email or a letter explaining your need to step away and your intent to reconsider returning after a hiatus.
A Look Inside Your Head: Getting Clear Exercise
Let’s move from writing to action and visual representations or how we live our lives. Look at your e-calendar, date book, or wherever you write down and keep track of your appointments. Come up with a color code system based on activity type i.e., blue for work, yellow for self-care (hair, nails, massage, walks, gym, etc.), green for family time, purple for time with friends, pink for alone time. If you work, it probably takes up at least 37.5 hours of your week so you may see more blue highlights in your color system. List out in rank order, what gets the most of your energy each month and what gets the least amount of time? How do you feel about what you see? Is there balance in your life? Are there things that you would like to reorganize and reprioritize? Look at the heart exercise above and see where there are emotional barriers that may be making you cling to certain activities and view change as non-negotiable. If you can’t do away with the activity altogether, can you reduce the time you give it and use the time saved for rest or self-care?